yes, this (second and) third week in the program is really messy. Too many things need to handle, the less time prepares things, the less efficient the work, the moooore chaos happens. as its name suggests flood is not just a simple thing, and let me explain it to you.
what is the cause and impact of flood? well, the answer is many. maybe the common conception we know is there is too much rain. are you sure? it will most likely not going to happen if we live on high ground, better drainage system, or even good town infrastructure. so, what’s the point that I’d like to show you here is that I am lack of capacity and preparation to handle the flood properly.
a constant amount of time in a day is not going to give you any tolerance to handle many things at once, even your body health knows that. I have 3 main things to handle these few weeks. first, I do my thesis for the final semester, second, I work from 10–16(with special permission to finish early before 17, yabb class) in a woodcraft workshop to pay Kos-Kosan, and lastly working on new material to cover every two days on yabb. the point is not that I am busy enough and be proud I can do it at least with the minimum result. it's about how inefficient and lack of technical basics to begin with. having to run in every part is not going to be healthy since it is not giving me any rest to charge up.
the second week of yabb run badly since my head feels dizzy and my body feels tired after work. having to attend the funeral of my friend's mom and etch. I can’t prepare for the module 3 session 2 exercises that embarrassed me in the breakout room. that moment when the instructor asks why don't share my screen and not be able to do it since I don't save the last exercise. maybe the instructor realizes it or not I feel so awkward for so many lack understanding and technical miscommunication.
the third week is not much better, even when the session just started. the instructor asks who can review the last session class, when I raised a hand and talk it turn out my voice became like a robot because of connection and reflect ask to pass in a matter of seconds. it’s not just that, because my connection actually keeps its problem even until I moved to the breakout room and limit my communication to other peers there. it is awful to remind myself about that since I am not really able to instantly fix it because it's out of my control (even I have always been in the same room for a few sections of class before).
now, how can I measure myself here? the bare minimum result must be around 65/70 out of 100. I always attend class, do the homework, preview and review the material covered in the module, and trying to be active in the session class, and yet there is still a feeling that I am left behind with so many to catch up. I wouldn't be able to pass through the bare minimum as long as I find my way to do things more efficiently or being able to face a dilemma to left other options on my daily tasks. Sometimes there must be a price to buy things as the basics of economics told us. but efficiency is always the key(sweet spot) to save up from high prices between the will to get more or left things behind.
how can I know what should I do next week? yes, the key is one of the things I’ve already said before is Efficiency. is it really the answer? I don't know, but what I know is I reflect upon what I’ve done this week and feel not so efficient in using my free time. I should set myself time to just find the limit in scrolling through social media, having more time to focus, and have a good sleep. having bad sleep would ruin my capacity to focus and having a good routine. It's been so long when I can be consistent in my sleeping-wakeup time, at that time working on so many things, run out to be good and efficient. in other words, I need more consistency to build better habits to do things efficiently.
lastly, what if I still keep getting overwhelmed? it can befall into two categories, the habit is not consistent or the task is actually too demanding which is a big signal to left one thing off later.
from the story above, if I can ask other colleagues in yabb program is :
what will you do if you have to choose between A over B, both are the same important and you can only have one, but you also have the choice to pick both with 50% to lose both.